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Cold and depressed

No matter where you live in the country, I hope that 31 degrees (F) is cold. That's what the time/temp thing on the way to work said this morning. I was very, very cold. Brrrr.

I have been out of sorts all day long. I don't know what to attribute it to, so everything that's been bothering me only slightly has now emerged as full-blown emotional insanity. I'm cold, depressed. I have no money, depressed. The freezer broke, depressed (not like we lost anything; everything was still cold when we discovered it and we were able to get all the food into the inside freezer in time). Monday, depressed. I've only managed to cut 12,000 words from my book, depressed. House is disgusting, depressed. No time for anything, depressed. Lack of real Christmas feeling, depressed. No family left in town, depressed. The earrings I ordered almost two weeks ago from eBay STILL haven't arrived, depressed. Sometimes when I get like this I start up with the whole "everything is pointless, I suck, there's no point to any of it, why do I even bother, sure I can write okay but I write garbage no one wants to read, just a whole lot of it and what's more garbage but just more garbage, just like this house, full of crap I never needed in the first place and if I hadn't bought it all I'd have money damn it and why can't I get anything together?" I obviously need to take more time to work but I never seem to have enough of it, and my boss called my bluff when I said "I can work the later hours because I have no obligations saying I can't" which is perfectly true but now starting next Monday, already, I'll be working 8:45 to 5:00 instead of my LONG time hours of 7 to 3:15, but at least it gets me in good with the boss and really when I go to the gym I wasn't getting home until almost five anyway and this way I can work out BEFORE work which is supposedly better for you anyway but that is provided I can get my lazy ass out of bed and actually DO it which I never can do and...


Maybe it's just the bad air and God only knows what hormonal dips I'm going through.

We discovered our deep freeze was no longer working on Saturday; I'd remembered that rahirah had discovered a few days before that the new meat we'd put in there wasn't frozen, just cold, and we attributed it to the lid not being securely closed, so I checked. Nothing. Water ran out of every crack as I opened the lid and everything was completely thawed, although, fortunately, still cold. We managed to find room for everything inside and cooked up what was left. Unfortunately, there was already a pot roast in the crock pot, so we couldn't really cook any of the meat, but the Marie Callender's pie was saved, as well as a pot pie which was covered and put away for a future meal. Cheap frozen pizzas don't cook up nearly so well when they've been thawed.

Quote from a NY Times editorial:
Mr. Bush and his team don't understand that they merely hold the current majority in a system designed to bring periodic changes in the governing party and to protect the rights and values of the minority party. The idea that the winners should trash the system to make sure the democratic process ended with them was discredited back around the time of the Bolsheviks.

Humpf. This country sucks, depressed.

Well, let's throw in a meme just for kicks (although I can't really speak for its accuracy):

You Have a Choleric Temperament

You are a person of great enthusiasm - easily excited by many things.
Unsatisfied by the ordinary, you are reaching for an epic, extraordinary life.
You want the best. The best life. The best love. The best reputation.

You posses a sharp and keen intellect. Your mind is your primary weapon.
Strong willed, nothing can keep you down. Your energy can break down any wall.
You're an instantly passionate person - and this passion gives you an intoxicating power over others.

At your worst, you are a narcissist. Full of yourself and even proud of your faults.
Stubborn and opinionated, you know what you think is right. End of discussion.
A bit of a misanthrope, you often see others as weak, ignorant, and inferior.

I'd do the Harry Potter one, but Sirius isn't an option, and somehow I ended up with Harry. Jailbait, and I didn't even choose bright emerald eyes (although those obviously appeal to me -- see: Raif Kincaid).

Hmmm, leftover pot roast. At least I can cook.


( 10 comments — Leave a comment )
Dec. 6th, 2005 01:05 am (UTC)
Hmmm, leftover pot roast. At least I can cook.

My Grandma Carmen always uses leftover pot roast to make carnitas for tacos... very yummy!

I was really glad to hear that you didn't lose anything from the freezer. That's always been one of my big worries... that the freezer will quit working and I won't find out about it until after everything is completely thawed. Our freezer is at least third hand, given to us by someone who had purchased it used from a thrift store... so far, it seems to keep happily chugging along.

As for things being so down lately... it sounds like your weather has gotten decidedly winter-like, are you getting much sun at all? I find that can often have a huge effect on my mood (hence the full spectrum lightbulbs stuck in lamps around the house).
Dec. 6th, 2005 01:52 am (UTC)
Ooo, I never thought of pot roast carnitas (most carnitas is pork, but I suppose by definition it could be any meat). Yum.

I don't know if it's light (I don't stay in the dark much; my office has plenty of windows, we're on the second floor in one of those glass-walled thangs), or just my general moodiness. Sometimes I can be brought down by the most minor things...
Dec. 6th, 2005 01:17 am (UTC)

I know those moods all too well. The best I can say is that this, too, shall pass. Meanwhile, play a little Dwight, maybe?
Dec. 6th, 2005 01:49 am (UTC)
I forgot my iPod today. I should keep some CDs at the office for emergencies, eh?
Dec. 8th, 2005 12:29 am (UTC)
Eep! Yes, you should. I have a bunch of CDs there, mostly inadvertently bought duplicates.
Dec. 8th, 2005 12:42 am (UTC)
I used to, but I brought them home for some reason (oh, yeah, I needed to rip them into my iTunes library... hee. Wonderful things, MP3 players...).
(Deleted comment)
Dec. 6th, 2005 12:30 pm (UTC)
Yeah, that's it! It always does go away, but it was nasty yesterday. I sometimes wonder if I ought to seriously consider therapy, since there are things I really can't unload on my live journal cluttering my mind, but, see that "money" thing... ;-)
Dec. 6th, 2005 07:13 pm (UTC)
I was feeling pretty moody yesterday, but I missed a dose of medication and was stressed at work. I need to find my Bob Marley CD. More reggae might chill me out.
Dec. 6th, 2005 07:22 pm (UTC)
I feel your pain! I'm having to come up with a huge chunk of money for some piled up extra bills this month. HUGE! :(

And the place that is offering Steve a new job can't do it until after the holidays... :(
Dec. 7th, 2005 12:02 am (UTC)
Yep, that's the way of it! {{return hugs}}

Miss you guys!
( 10 comments — Leave a comment )

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