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Okay, I committed a little faux pas. I am on a quiet little Angel list where suddenly, despite a complete lack of said things so far, the evil Buffy/Angel 'Ship appeared on the horizon. I sat through a little of it until I finally had to say:

Okay, I know I shouldn't keep this going, but I really want to know...

Why do you want Angel to be forever mooning over Buffy the Manipulative Whiney Little Girl instead of moving on with his life and finding a woman who REALLY loves him, and not just idolizes him as the first lay she ever had? Buffy doesn't even KNOW Angel. She brings out the worst in him (and I don't just mean Angelus). She makes HIM whiney and childish, when on his own show, away from Buffy, he's strong and capable. When he's with her he's always trying to be this knight-in-shining-armor she worships (not LOVES). It's an idealistic childhood romance. It was pretty. But "happily ever after" all depends on where the story ends, and the story for Buffy-n-Angel ended. Both moved on. Now they've been artificially re-joined and it doesn't work because for nearly three years, they had hardly any contact AT ALL. Angel knew nothing of Buffy's life post-resurrection and Buffy knows even LESS about Angel. Does she know he likes old TV shows and Barry Manilow? (I could picture that last one giving her the squick.) Does she know he likes cheesy Charlton Heston movies and the ballet? Does she know about Connor? Did he bother to tell her ANYTHING about his life the last few years?

It's not a love story. It's a sad woman clinging to her high school romance because the rest of her life is so ugly. Angel is better off without her, and I wish to heaven both he and Spike would move on and let Buffy finish baking for the human man she's going to make miserable someday (as JW has said countless times that his Buffy will not end up with a vampire).

I actually got a lot of response from Spuffy folks and a few from non-shippers who just want Angel to move the heck on. But the one really intense B/Aer was hurt to the quick by my words, and told me this:

Posts like yours, Kats, where you post your personal opinion/analysis/reaction to the characters as if it were hard fact, is what rips the fandom up into little tiny pieces, throws them on the floor, and stops the hell out of them, until people are just arguing with each other over stuff. And that's a waste of time.

Wow. I didn't realize I was ripping fandom into little tiny pieces. I feel so ashamed... (hanging head) Okay, maybe I was a teeny, tiny bit brusk in my first post... but heck, I wasn't meaning to tear the whole fandom up.

What I'm really sorry about is I didn't get an answer to any of my questions about Angel...


( 9 comments — Leave a comment )
Sep. 18th, 2003 08:55 pm (UTC)
And, honestly, you're probably putting a whole lot more "fact" into your opinion than s/he does. I'm assuming this person has no problem talking at length about why B/A is a wonderful thing? Because, of course, that's not "opinion."

Sounds like someone didn't like being reminded of some well-placed facts about what we've been shown about these characters in the last few years, that don't quite jibe with what s/he wants.

And BTW, I totally agree with you about how the relationship comes across... I mean, Buffy and Angel haven't even been as close as most pen pals for the past few years. They know nothing of one another and haven't shared one bit of the pain and growth they've done. It's no wonder they both regress massively in the other's presence... I'm betting if they actually tried to spend any time together, they'd be absolutely miserable. They're practically strangers, yet they seem to expect to have some huge connection because they had some sparkage four years or so ago.
Sep. 18th, 2003 09:20 pm (UTC)
Well, her actual "answer" to my queries was to give me the URL to her AU B/A fanfic, so that was supposed to "answer" all of my questions about why their love is so "mythic."

Still, there has to be a reason that the literary couples that have been associated with B/A have been, generally speaking, tragic ones... (I've seen them called "Romeo and Juliet" a dozen times... and we all know what happened to them.)

Sep. 18th, 2003 09:25 pm (UTC)
(I've seen them called "Romeo and Juliet" a dozen times... and we all know what happened to them.)

Hee! I've always wondered how well Romeo and Juliet would have handled really being together. You know, if they didn't have their family situations tearing them apart and making the relationship look much more appealing to their teenage angst riddled brains.
Sep. 19th, 2003 12:34 pm (UTC)
I've often wondered the same thing. Romantic angst is one thing, but daily life is tough. As one couple I heard of said in their handfasting vows, "Love is the willingness to do the work."

I don't see Angel or Buffy working at a relationship or even communicating--just spending a lot of time misunderstanding each other and causing friction. It's not about the love, it's about the drama.
Sep. 19th, 2003 04:09 pm (UTC)
Yep, I've wondered that, too; especially since Romeo was given to falling in "love" every couple of days, and flitted from relationship to relationship with the greatest of ease.

If there hadn't been the big feud, they probably would have courted briefly, and then Juliet happily married to Paris and Romeo would have found another chick to dig before his parents finally chose him a wife to settle him down...
Sep. 18th, 2003 09:17 pm (UTC)
I completely agree with you about the Buffy/Angel relationship. They're awful together.

You just forgot the "in my opinion" and "as I see it" and other such words. That was a tactic I learned from Ben Franklin, actually, although I can't remember which essay it was in.

Besides, don't you know it isn't ladylike to be aggressive? (snicker)

Sep. 18th, 2003 09:21 pm (UTC)
But... but... it IS fact. :D Okay, I know, I forgot the "I" statements. So in my reply, I was very careful to say "I think" before every sentence.

Maybe that was a teeny bit catty. :)
Sep. 18th, 2003 10:58 pm (UTC)
It's funny, but I have a college boyfriend that periodically I get sentimental about. Then, I come to my senses and realize I want nothing more than him but to be friends (which we are). Or to have sex (which we don't as he live in LA and I'm in ATL). But the fact of the matter was we brought out the worst in one another. We lasted four years which is my longest relationship yet. But it was a miserable four years with the occasional high.

Personally, I'm glad I moved on. He'll always have a special place in my heart and all that shit. But, dude, it's over. Although he and I are actually closer now in ways that we never were before, I'm very glad that we've both given up on that load of shit. And, God, I wish Buffy and Angel would also.

And, by the way, I have "me" issues tonight if you haven't noticed. It's all about me, me, and me. Which, thank God for LJ, because -- real life -- not so much.
Sep. 19th, 2003 04:13 pm (UTC)
I sometimes think about a past love, but it ended long ago and he never bothered to keep in touch (despite the "we'll be friends" BS he handed me), and I'm pretty danged happy where I am, so I rarely think about it with any kind of melancholy apart from the lost friendship. Going even further back, I can't even IMAGINE still being with my first. Yikes, yikes, and, YIKES!

Sorry about RL. It's okay if you're all about you for a while. :)

( 9 comments — Leave a comment )

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