March 1st, 2015

Halloween Cat

Random Thoughts on a Sunday Night

A little smile:

Bought more yarn today, even though I SWORE I wouldn't buy any more until I finished some of the projects I already had half-done (or barely started)... but it was SO PRETTY and Tuesday Morning prices can't be beat for the really high quality stuff (although I did NOT go for the silk-merino blend that even at Tuesday Morning was STILL $11 a skein...).

I need more time for everything.

Touching on mourning. When Belle lived in the city, we saw her and the family a couple of times of year. Since they moved to Washington, we saw them two or three times, period. But... she was an important part of my wife's life, and I felt very close to her, anyway. I tried to always remember to send gifts and cards; I always had the family in my thoughts. If it wasn't for Belle, I wouldn't have my interest in wine -- which I very much appreciate, silly as that may sound. When we went to visit in June, she took us to some of her favorite wineries, and we had a grand time tasting and talking.

I read rahirah's most recent entry and was crying all over again, because I hurt for myself as well as for my wife. I thought of all sorts of things to say, but all the real comfort I can give to her is to be there for her and hold her when she needs it -- and wish I could fix it all.

But what else can I do? I realized with a start that in two weeks it will be twenty years since I lost my own brother, which still hits me at odd times and makes me cry, so there is no way to "make it better." It gets easier, but it doesn't really get "better."

I've been trying to write. It's not going well. So maybe I'll knit some more.