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This is commentary from one of that writing contest judges:

While the plot is this story’s strongest feature, the style and voice combined with weak writing brings it down. The author’s voice is lost in all the awkward sentences and grammatical errors. There are several places where the POV changes without smooth transitions. There are several areas where the pace is slow. (I made suggestions in the text of the entry.) But there are glimpses into this author’s writing style to lead me to believe that talent is there; they just need to dig deeper and keep a critical eye on the writing mechanics.

My PLOT is strong and my CHARACTERS weak? Wow. Slow-paced, I'll grant. And that's severely cut down, too...

And grammatical errors? Me? (Unless they're in dialog, I suppose. I need to go through the whole thing and see the individual commentary on the actual writing - the above is from one of the scorecards.)

Nice to know she thinks I have talent. *sniff*

What's REALLY weird is this judge also tells me that John Dillon is the most interesting and LIKABLE character in my piece. Those of you who have read it, what do you think about that one?

Anyway, once the pain settles, then I can read the commentary and use it/lose it as I see fit before the next rejection comes in and I move to the next submission.

Please let my dragons live! (Thanks to all the clicky folks!)



Adopt one today! Adopt one today! Adopt one today! Adopt one today!

Comments

( 10 comments — Leave a comment )
cornerofmadness
Jul. 19th, 2008 03:47 am (UTC)
John Dillon likable? Only if you're Wolfram and Hart out scouting new talent. I have no idea what this judge is talking about. There is almost nothing redeeming about JOhn, he's even rude to his own people
wildrider
Jul. 19th, 2008 04:07 am (UTC)
Good, that's what I thought. I can't remember him being likable, even at the beginning of the story when we first meet him... and I was worried there, for a minute.

cornerofmadness
Jul. 19th, 2008 02:08 pm (UTC)
i think if you asked this question to Link they'd all be giving that judge the deer in the headlight looks.

You almost would swear she didn't read the story other than she knew his name
wildrider
Jul. 19th, 2008 08:15 pm (UTC)
I suppose to be fair, they did only read the first thirty pages, and you don't really see his true colors for a while...

cornerofmadness
Jul. 19th, 2008 08:21 pm (UTC)
ah i remember taking an instant dislike to him but yeah he doesn't get hidebound and psycho until later
nutmeg3
Jul. 19th, 2008 12:14 pm (UTC)
Have you noticed that some of your eggs are showing pre-hatching cracks? Several of mine are, too.

And fwiw, the judge didn't say your characters are weak. In fact, s/he didn't mention the characters (in that context/comparison) at all. S/He just responded to the plot more, which some people just do. I also think - based on what you and cornerofmadness were saying - that her/his language may have been imprecise and by "likable" s/he meant an extension of interesting, ie: amusing, perhaps, rather than nice and the kind of person you'd want around, but I'm really just guessing on that.
wildrider
Jul. 19th, 2008 03:23 pm (UTC)
I saw that yours were starting - mine must have begun in the night! *crossed fingers*

Well, I've been giving it some musing - really, this has been the harshest stuff I've seen on the opening chapters, so it's got me thinking heavily about it - I have many ponderings about what might have occurred since it won the first contest. A large amount of early stuff was cut here, but the original opening scene remains pretty much intact. I cut out Della's original first scene (with her and Theo) and started her arriving at the bar; and I don't think that makes her less distinct as a character. And one of the judges said they couldn't tell who was my hero and who was my heroine... not to mention my "sloppy writing, bad punctuation, and grammatical errors."

And this for a book that's been through three years of re-writes, a half-dozen beta readers, and almost a dozen submission/rejections.

cornerofmadness
Jul. 20th, 2008 05:31 pm (UTC)
look at you witha pink dragon. I have a little grey one who made the skys go black with clouds....

i want yuor stone one to crack more. it got a big crack in it when i just clicked
wildrider
Jul. 20th, 2008 07:15 pm (UTC)
Isn't she cute? I'm eager to see what the purple one is, too.

cornerofmadness
Jul. 20th, 2008 08:29 pm (UTC)
she is cute. Really I'm all for seeing that stone one or the purple well hell any of them
( 10 comments — Leave a comment )

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